Yea boi! #FreeAgent Status!

Hey there Lovers and Friends!

As some of you have heard I am now a Free Agent in the porn world! This is good and bad, but right now it is a good thing! Let me explain…

The main reason girls like to have an agent is laziness. They just don’t want to deal with the business side of porn. I don’t blame em, but I am not them!

The bad part about being a Free Agent falls to the old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.”

So it is easy to think, “Well what are you doing TLF!? Get yourself a new agent!”  NOT SO FAST!

I think my fans (#TeamTLF) can help me more than an agent can. Seriously! Have you seen my twitter fans lately? They/You are AHHHHMAZING! Thank you for RTing my wishlist and requesting me @ you favorite companies!

 

Now for the positive side of being on #FreeAgent Status:

- I am responsible enough to handle my own bookings.

- I know how to be professional

- I am in control of my career and what type of shoots I do.

- I collect my own money and don’t have to wait on my agent to “have time” to give me MY money!  LOL

- Don’t have to pay an agent a % of my earnings after I did ALL of the work.

- Don’t have to worry about an agent & their “politics”  prohibiting me from being booked.

- I will be able to make Stress Free SMUT NOW! YAY!!!!

 

Listen, there are pros and cons to everything and every situation. However, I have been performing for 3 years now. Until I find someone who actually knows what to do with a smart, professional, beautiful model like myself… I am going to enjoy this to the fullest!

 

So hope this little update helped… I just want to say THANK YOU! one more time to #TeamTLF… You are the reason I keep going!

 

xxo

TLF

 

p.s. I will  be doing a live twitter interview at 1pm PST tomorrow!

A New Beginning…. #TeamTLF

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.

Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

-Helen Keller

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It has been a little over a month since I dropped a big load of reality on you… so I thought I’d update you….. Enjoy!

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What does true happiness and freedom look like?

Right this second, it would look something like me. I have never been happier or felt so free as I do right now. You are probably wondering why and how?

I haven’t been shooting xxx movies for a couple months now, but I have wrote a book, started my second one, and began a journey of healing in that time. I was hoping that I would take a couple weeks to a month off from shooting, while I had time to relax and write, then return to LA. That is exactly NOT what happened. LOL

I left LA shortly after I started to break down. I wouldn’t call it a burn out, but it was damn near close to that. I have been battling anxiety and depression for some time now. Through lots of medical marijuana and a very promiscuous life style I was able to ignore a lot of the problems that needed to be resolved. One day I woke up and realized that’s not how I wanted my life to be like, especially if I wanted to become the woman I desire to be one day. Luckily, after a recent long 6 day vacation, I feel like I am so close.

Not only did I have time to reflect and correct, but I got to learn and apply in a safe environment. I am so thankful for the people that have helped me in this rough patch.

I am very excited for my future. I feel so confident now, so sure of myself, and very inspired. A new beginning is now at my doorstep. I can either close the door and ignore the opportunities that lay ahead. OR I can open the door with confidence and walk down the path of the unknown with my head held high. I think the second one sounds better!

You know that saying, “don’t burn bridges because you never know when you will need to cross it again?” Well there are some bridges that need to be burned and some that need to be well protected. Yes I have dealt with a lot of scum bags in the 3 years of being an adult entertainer, but I have also come across some really amazing people as well. That being said, I still haven’t decided if I want to come back to being a full time porn chick, but I do know this wonderful world of erotic pleasure is part of me now. I may not be on Paul Cantor’s “top 100 pornstars” list, but I am very loved by my dear fans. That, my friend, is what matters the most.

“One is truly free when they are the master of their own mind.” -Unknown

I have discovered this quote to be so true in the last couple weeks. I had so much doubt, and “what if” thinking going through my head it was pathetic. The worst part about it is I let it get the best of me. Not once but twice did I try to take my own life. It is a very scary place to be in…. I hope you don’t ever have to go down that road, hence why I am opening up and being so RAW for you. I got to the point where I didn’t care anymore! I didn’t even care about the people that would mourn my death every year on the same day. Never did I want to go there or even be able to understand what it feels like to want to kill myself. It’s shitty. It happened and I survived.

“Happiness is an inside job!” -John Powell

After going to the dark side, I was able to see the light.

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see and appreciate what you really have. Life is one big roller coaster for me, it always has been and it might continue to be. This time though, I am a little more prepared. Nothing is worth taking your life. Not a big debt, a lover, a dead cat, or even doing porn instead of going to college to be a nurse. NONE of that is as important as my life.

 I am currently writing a book, again. It is going to be a memoir of my life leading up to porn and my new beginning. I hope you will support & buy it once it comes out in many months to come. I don’t want to write an essay, but I hope you were able to understand this rant.

Until next time,

Stay naughty!

xxoxxo TLF

#TeamTLF

Some heavy shit!

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

xoxo

TLF

P.S. I love being your fantasy woman, and sharing my sexual desires with you. I am just at a point in my life that I need to heal from my past. I am the type of person that does things in hopes it will help someone else one day. So please do not take this as I hate porn or I regret it. Like I said it was a blessing in disguise. I just want there to be a change for the better!  HUGS AND KISSES!

Happy Independence Day!

I have been battling for some time now, with myself. I get these spouts of “morality” LOL. Seriously, I am really fucked up in the head lately.

I know that what I do for a living isn’t necessarily the “norm” but it is becoming more and more popular. So why am I still feeling guilty or ashamed for doing something I loved to do at one time? Two and a half years and hundreds of scenes later, why am I just now starting to have a problem?

I’m going to take the most obvious, possibly easy way out. SOCIETY.

Just hear me out.

I grew up with the idea that “you should worry about being smart not what you look like,” and “People will love you for what’s on the inside, not what they see on the surface.” Ok cool… too bad that’s not always the case. In order to make it in LA it’s not how talented you are, it’s how “beautiful” you are.

Sex has always been prevalent in my life, but it has become more apparent in the media as I’ve gotten older. For example, when I was in elementary school I had a girl friend. We would dry hump and experiment, while we secretly looked at dirty magazines. I learned how to give a BJ while watching that old lady on cable, the love doctor or whatever LOL! Porn was only on VHS or Cable REEEAALLY late at night. When I was a pre-teen I would get online and have cybersex with strangers over the web. I tried anal with my high school sweet heart my freshman year. When I turned 17, I took pictures in my moms bathroom that looked like some of the pics I would post on the web now…. When I turned 18 I turned to the sex industry to get money for college. 

Now that I look back at my life up to now, I have always been interested in sex, but never thought I’d be a sex worker. Even though I love to be sexy, I love to help people have sexy time together. I love that I could possibly be some teen boy’s fantasy woman, or some girls BJ instructor. I love that I can make men and women of all shapes and sizes cum! BUT there are things that I don’t like about being a porn starlet. The truth is, teens are a huge demographic of porn watchers. Even though they probably don’t pay for the porn, I feel like I still have a duty. That is to set a good example. Having unprotected sex is not the message I want to send, however that’s the reality of it. The good news is that I do get tested. SO atleast there is a start.

Now we are getting somewhere! Maybe this is a huge reason why I am so fucked up in the head. I love being in front of the camera and being your cream dream. I don’t love doing things I don’t want to do or with someone I don’t want to be doing them with.

When I go to work and I have a good scene I feel so accomplished and on top of the world. When I go to work and I have been set up with a guy that has a bad attitude or he has a weird looking cock or whatever is wrong,  then the scene is bad and I am in a bad mood. Those days I want to quit.

Luckily, This year I have been taking back control over my life and body. I have been a prisoner to myself for sometime now. That time is over. It is time to do what makes me happy. May that be a pornstar or baker, either way I promise myself that I will not lie to myself anymore. If I truly don’t want to fuck a guy or do a scene because I feel like I HAVE to or let this person in my life then I won’t! Life is too short to let the world decide what’s right and wrong, for me.

This is what Independence Day means to me